So, I was watching the build up to the F.A cup final and I got to thinking about if I was to assemble a football team out of political types who would be on it? I mean the obvious jokes are “Hitler on the Right Wing and Che Guevara on the Left Wing” but after that it is more of a challenge…..considering I can’t actually remember all the football positions. There are other reasons to celebrate football this weekend, Landsdowne Road re-opened (it will never be the Aviva Stadium to me, just like The Point will never be the 02 and the Shell garage around the corner will never be the Topaz garage around the corner) As well as the “foreign games” the real sporting event of the summer threw in this weekend with d’all urland championship beginning on Sunday so all in all I feel completely justified in indulging in my own fantasy football (just to note, I prefer Gaelic Football to soccer but there’s no way I could find 15 positions)


1.Goalkeeper: Abraham Lincoln – A big tall man, kept America together during their civil war so he could probably keep the defence together and Lincoln has a definite history of getting in the way of shots.


2.Right Back: Eamon De Valera – He’s stubborn as a mule and has great stamina. He doesn’t give up and once he sets his mind on something he will not let it go, might be a controversial figure though as he has a very specific idea of how he wants things done.

3.Centre Back: Margret Thatcher – You want your centre backs to be tough, people who won’t be afraid to put in a harsh challenge or if needs be, to end a career all for the sake of winning a match. Who else would you rather have than an oul battleaxe who labelled Nelson Mandela a terrorist and ordered the sinking of a ship full of soldiers who were going away from a battle (amongst many other horrible things)

4.Centre Back: Brian Boru, High King  of  All Ireland (C) – Brian Boru gets the nod for driving the Vikings out of Ireland in 1014. He’s old but he’s experienced and as the last High King of All Ireland and having commanded an army he also gets the Captains Armband.

5.Left Back: Ian Paisley – Ulster says no, it takes a long time to grind Ian Paisley down, another big man who makes it hard to get by him.


6.Right Wing: Karl Marx – I know, I know, a German probably doesn’t have the flair for the wing but Marx is smart and has great vision and knows where he wants the game to go.

7.Centre Midfield: Michael Collins – The literal midfield general, inventive, imposing, aggressive and he’s from Cork…..basically Roy Keane.

8.Centre Midfield: Rennee Descartes – What would a midfield be without a temperamental Frenchman?

9.Left Wing: Alexander the Great – Try and stop him.


10.Striker: Jim Larkin – Greatest Striker in history of Ireland.

11.Centre Forward – Jesus Christ – Has some really fancy footwork having walked on water but his real strength is on the cross.

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