Funny How? Roma targeted by authorities in unprecedented crackdown

Roma targeted by authorities in unprecedented crackdown

The children of Roma people are at risk of abduction by the Irish Authorities. It is thought that the Irish Authorities, which live on the fringes of organized society targets Roma children. It is believed that Roma children with blonde hair and blue eyes are at particular risk. ‘It is terrible’, said a member of the Roma community who refused to be named. ‘We can’t do anything for fear of our child being snatched by this gang of criminals’.

 Not much is known about the inner workings of the Irish Authorities, a mysterious and closed group which has been suspected of numerous acts of criminality against the community at large. ‘They just roll up and take what they want. I can’t believe it, they seem to be above the law, they just do what they want and the PC brigade jump in to defend them with their talk of democracy and due process and the likes, frankly it’s a load of me bollox’ said Mary Clarke of Athlone. ‘I have one of them living beside me, calls himself some ridiculous title like the minister for something or other, he acts like he owns the place. If you live in this country you should obey the rules, all we’re asking for is fairness’.

 Another child was also snatched by state authorities following an anonymous tip off from a concerned local racist. ‘Well, I saw the child and the child was with the gypos but the child didn’t have horns or a tail and not one of them asked me for any money so I thought, hold on a minute this doesn’t seem right to me. I had heard about that little girl in Greece and I thought they were up to the same thing here, the shifty bastards’.

 Upon calling the Gardai the full force of the state mobilized with heretofore unseen swiftness. ‘It just seemed strange’ said a Garda who wished only be identified by PJ. According to PJ ‘this is Ireland, if a child is in danger they can count on the Gardai and social workers to get stuck in immediately and not pussyfoot around, so yes, we took action against these members of a misunderstood and marginalised community, it’s what any daecent (sic) police force would do anywhere in the western world’.

 Why the intervention of child services and the removal of the child was considered as a first resort is unknown but according to PJ ‘sure they’re only gypsies like. We all know what they’re up to’. The child has since been returned to their parents and the matter is considered closed by the Gardai. The focus has now shifted to the Governments response to this. When questioned about the fallout from this a spokesperson for the Garda Ombudsman simply replied ‘yahoo, %$&*ing payday’.

 In the Dail the leader of Fianna Fail was able to condemn the Government for its slow response to the issue of child welfare while keeping a straight face or bursting into flames. On the Government side of the house the Minister for Justice said the issue was ‘the concern of peasants’ he then shrugged his shoulders, harrumphed and returned to writing erotic novels. When asked if she would take steps to ensure something like this never happened again the Minister for Children laughed, winked and replied ‘ah sure of course I will’.

 The Roma and Travellers rights group Pavee Point simply stated ‘ah lads, for *%$£ sake you’re taking the **** now. How long have we all lived here?’ When asked if they considered what has transpired to be a witch hunt, locals in the area where the Roma family live replied ‘well, it is Halloween’.

Declan Brennan

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