Planes, Trains and Automobiles…..without the planes

So, just when you thought it was safe to trust Iceland they go and be a volcanic island, typical. The cloud of volcanic ash that is currently somewhere over Europe has brought air travel to a standstill. Ireland is a small country, we do not have the spirit of conquering the wild frontier that say the American Cowboys or Joseph Stalin had. To get around the country wasn’t always easy and until the advent of air travel the only way you were leaving the country was to be transported to Australia for fleecing Trevelyn’s corn for your young one or to go to America to build New York. This volcanic ash cloud is not a curse it is a blessing, a chance for us to get in touch with our spirit of adventure and endeavour that separates us from the animals (except rats, they’re everywhere we are and in greater number). No planes mean people must find alternative modes of transport such as…….

Covered Wagon:

The covered wagon is very impractical but without it you will not make it through the territory of the native Americans……ok, so there aren’t a lot of Native Americans in Ireland and if there are they probably don’t care if you drive down their road in a covered wagon, frankly speaking you have more to worry about with little scumbags. I mean if they throw rocks at the bus what do you think they’ll do when you come trundling along whistling Dixie?

The Bus:

The Bus, we’ve all got it at one stage or another. I got the bus twice today, but this isn’t a competition. The bus means you don’t have to drive it and you get bus friends too of course, as mentioned earlier little scrotes will pelt rocks at it and you may have to listen to tiesto pumped out through the phone of some 12 year old named “Shazza” but its cheap.

The Boat:

As illustrated in the above picture using a boat for long distance travel is fraught with danger not only is there icebergs and a steerage class full of stereotypical Irish immigrants but you may get really unlucky and end up falling love with Kate Winslet.

Rent-a-Car/Limo:

The downside of renting a car is you have to drive but if you hire a limo someone will drive you. However if your name is not Smith you probably won’t be able to hire a limo. Another thing to be aware of is that if it is your first time in a limo something bad will more than likely happen, just ask John McClane.