Transsexual Jesus sparks protests

A play which opened in Scotland this week drew condemnation from….everyone. The play which features Jesus Christ as a Transsexual features as part of the Glasgay! arts festival in the Scottish city of Glasgow. The play “Jesus, Queen of Heaven” has sparked wild protests from a wide range of groups.

Christian Fundamentalists were the first group to arrive on the scene. The dogmatic group were quick to point out that “God hates everything, absolutely everything. The fact that this play features Jesus as a Transsexual is just a bonus for us. We were on our way to protest here anyway because it says very clearly in the book of Deuteronomy that God hates acting and public performance of any kind, technically we’re going to hell for protesting because it involves people looking at us.”

Islamic protestors also protested against the play saying “We just heard the words religious and protest and we assumed it was about Isalm. The minibus won’t be back till 5 o’clock so we’ll hang around I suppose. I’m sure if we just imagine it’s about Allah we can get angry. I guess if you let people ridicule Jesus the next logical step is to make it about a Transsexual Allah.

A spokesperson for the Alliance of Angry Stereotypical Gays Lesbians Bisexual and Transsexuals (pictured above) said:“If these closed minded FASCISTS!  cant imagine Jesus as a Transsexual then I really worry for the future of humanity. If these people are so BRAINWASHED BY RELIGION! that they can’t take this slight deviation from the story of the bible at face value then they can just CRAWL BACK TO THE STONAGE! In this day and age we all have to be TOLERANT! of each others beliefs and  learn to live together and be RESPECTFUL. We can’t grow as a society unless everyone learns to accept WHAT WE BELIEVE AS THE ONLY WAY!”

The play has been praised in some sections for uniting communities in utter disgust at the topic. Fans of both Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers descended to protest against the play. “It’s amazing” Said Billy Hamilton of the Scottish FA “You normally wouldn’t see this, the old firm getting on so well, not even when Scotland are playing. So you have to give the play fair dues for that. If it can make Celtic and Rangers fans act in the spirit of friendship and harmony then I say send it on tour and see what it can do for divided communities around the world.”

After its run at the Glasgay! festival the play will have limited runs in Belfast, Tel Aviv, Baghdad, Kabul, Lhasa, Beijing, Tehran, and Alabama.

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Dec.