Martin refused entry to Gaza

Minister for foreign affairs Micheál Martin has been refused entry to the Gaza strip by Israeli authorities. Mr. Martin had requested permission to visit Palestine to see the effect of last year’s Israeli offensive in which approximately 1400 people, mostly civilians were killed.

“lovely garden”

Speaking on behalf of the Israeli government a spokesman said “I don’t see why he (Minister Martin) would even want to go behind the wall. There’s nothing in there but a lovely garden. You have all seen the picture of the two happy children playing beside a hole in the wall. If you look through that hole you will see a lovely garden”. When questioned about the fact that people know that there is not a “lovely garden” behind the wall, he accused them of lying and inferred that they may be Anti-Semitic  for not believing what he said. “Israel has always and will continue to be super duper honest about everything, if we say there is nothing of interest behind the 8 meter high concrete wall that surrounds our lovely garden then you have to believe us, unless of course it’s because we’re Jewish”. When he was asked about the Palestinian people he simply replied “never heard of them” and inquired “should I know them?”

“Bit dodgy”

In response to the refusal Mr. Martin is quoted as saying “eh…fair enough, I suppose they CAN refuse me permission to enter…but the idea that it’s some sort of garden behind that wall is a bit dodgy. Do they think we don’t know what they’re up to or something? I mean…sky news and all that…yeah? I mean remember when the US and Britain were wrecking Iraq and that Iraqi bloke was standing there and said there were no Americans in Iraq while you could clearly hear the sounds of war in the background…it’s a bit like that. Do they think we don’t know that the Israeli government are a bit harsh on the Palestinians? …Like when the Chinese condemn you for being too harsh maybe that’s when you pull it back a little bit? It’s not even a secret, we all know what’s going on, it’s like when Freddy Mercury came out, it was hardly a shock.

“That Iraqi bloke”

Mr. Martin’s comments have been backed by Amnesty international who responded to the Israeli claims with hysterical laughter and insisted that Israel “Go on out of that”