Heated debate again over 'War on Christmas' claims Dave December 28, 2009 Blogs Intense debate has arisen in the United States after groups on the political and religious right declared a War on Christmas. The Nebraska State Militia, a fringe group based in the hinterland around Omaha, Nebraska has declared this week that Christmas was an agent of communism and would no longer go unopposed. A spokesman for the militia which declares itself as the true government of the state of Nebraska said The idea of receiving free gifts without having to go out and work for them is damn un-American. We didnt set up this all male commune in the back ass of nowhere to roll out the red carpet for jolly old St. Communist. Using our God given right under the second amendment we have acquired rocket launchers. We will use this to keep a watch on the sky, if we see Santa passing through this way we will shoot him down. Back when I was a boy wearing a red tie was enough to get a man beaten to within an inch of his life, now were supposed to applaud some fruity foreigner giving presents to our children dressed all in red. No thank you comrade clause, not here in Nebraska. Red Watch is an activist group who have made it their mission to out whoever they suspect of being a communist has backed the Nebraska Militia in their denouncing of Santa Claus. According to spokesman John Wayne, Weve been suspicious of Santa for a while. The idea that he is constantly watching everyone is too much like 1984 for me. We have a real, American government to tell us how to live. We dont need some commie fascist judging us. Fuck the rest of the world, anyone who doesnt like how we live is a communist, because were the only free country in the world and communists hate freedom, I should be free to be naughty. Conservative talk show hosts on the Fox Network have also begun to question the existence of Santa Claus. Bill OReilly, host of The OReilly Factor has lead the charge, speculating that Osama Bin Laden and Santa may be the same person. Look, no one knows anything about this Santa guy. He enters America illegally, enters peoples homes without their permission and leaves unidentified packages. He is by all definitions a terrorist. Lets look at the facts; he has a big beard, so does Osama Bin Laden. Santa is very mysterious, no one knows where he lives its the same with Bin Laden. Obama should get up of his East Coast intellectual backside and start standing up for people like you and I, the American taxpayer. Im sick of being at risk because Barry Obama doesnt want to offend North Poleans by imprisoning all North Poleans who enter America. The religious right calling for an end to Christmas is being lead by Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church. Phelps, whose followers are famous for protesting the funerals of dead American soldiers along with anything that isnt Westboro Baptist Church because they feel they are Fags. Santa is a fag according to Phelps Santa is an agent of the devil, he is a Fag, a Fag enabler and a Pedophile When asked to explain these comments Phelps suggested that we consult the scriptures he then called everyone a fag and walked away. When asked about the above picture, which appears to show Santa and Fred Phelps having sex, Phelps became strangely quiet, muttered something about Santa being very similar to Satan and squirmed awkwardly in his heavily cushioned chair. PETA also had an objection to Christmas, something to do with turkeys and pet dogs and Santa using reindeer to pull his sleigh, but because it was PETA no one took any notice, because at this point it is just assumed that PETA, similar to Westboro Baptist, are against anything that isnt exactly what PETA believe and if you disagree with them they throw a red liquid resembling blood on you because theyre very rational people… For the real story click here Merry Christmas -Dec Tweet
