Harrington shoots 67 in Boston

Padraig Harrington in happier times.

Shock and sadness descended on the Deutsche Bank Championship in Boston this weekend after Padraig Harrington went on a ramage and shot 67 people. According to a Boston Police spokesman Harrington snapped after slicing into the rough on the 17th hole “he just lost it, he pulled a gun out of his bag and….the rest is sadly history.

Harrington talking to his golf clubs

According to friends of the golfer he had become more withdrawn over the past few weeks and his behaviour had become increasingly odd. “Once I saw Padraig,I don’t think he knew I was in the room but I overheard him explaining the benefits of flora pro active to his 3 wood. He always seemed like there was more to him than met the eye and unfortunately there was.”

Police secure the area around the course

Harringtons outburst of violence caused an unprecidented police response. “This was the city of Boston’s 9/11? said a police spokesman. “Our police officers train continually year round to ensure they are ready and prepared to deal with situations like this one if and when they arise. It is through their dedication and proffesionalism that Padraig Harrington was unable to injure more people and is now in police custody.

Crowds flee

Harringtons rampage is thought to have damaged the reputation of golf which only recently has started to be seen as a game everyone can enjoy. A statement from the PGA said “This is damaging to Golf, just when people started to count Golf as a sport instead of a game this happens. We would of course like to offer our sympathy to those injured yesterday. We hope this will not deter people from attending future events because Golf is no longer a sport solely for old, rich, white men. It is a sport for everyone, although we may consider excluding Padraig Harrington after this.”

Padraig Harrington is awaiting trial on 67 attempted murder charges and numerous firearms charges.

(for the real story click here )

Dec (dec@comedyireland.ie)