Why Mums Go To Iceland

I read recently that there was a joke doing the rounds in London that the difference between Ireland and Iceland was one letter and six months. I never said it was a good joke but then again people in financial circles aren’t renowned for their humour. For those of you who have lives and don’t keep up to date on the financial situation of Iceland I’ll fill you in. Iceland is broke. Ireland is nearly broke. That’s the joke, ha ha ha, very funny London.

NOW, Iceland is going broke but is it letting the fact that its going broke affect the fact that it’s a crazy little nation on the fringe of Europe? No, it isn’t. The Icelandic parliament, the Yungenscraffenladenjausgjeskjkenhfirlskrasmutenbernan (ok, that’s not the real name for the Icelandic Parliament, but I like to think it could be) drew up a way to repay their debts. So far this is all standard fare, bankers ruin the economy and government bail them out BUT this is where it gets interesting so sit up and pay attention! Iceland is a d.e.m.o.c.r.a.c.y a democracy, so the good folks at the Yungenscraffenladenjausgjeskjkenhfirlskrasmutenbernan have decided to put their plan to the people of Iceland and it looks like the people are going to reject it because (here’s the really important part, so important I’m going to steal a line directly from an article so don’t tell anyone…) Opponents say the repayment plan forces Icelandic taxpayers to pay for bankers’ mistakes. That’s some pretty radical thinking Iceland.

I wish Ireland was that cool, sure we owe lots and lots (and lots) of money but what if, like Iceland we just refused to pay it back? I mean, instead of coming up with NAMA, the government could have come up with a lie, a really good lie, a lie that we all have to learn off and repeat whenever anyone from outside Ireland asks about the Economy. This is my plan for economic recovery, we sleaze our way back to the top.

1)Lie: when the International Monetary Fund asks where their money is every man woman and child in the country tells the same story “we already paid you back”, “Didn’t you get the cheque?”, “It must be on the way then”

2)Avoid: We just don’t answer the house phone anymore; banks don’t have our mobile numbers so if we don’t answer the house phone there is no way they can give out to us. Simple.

3)Deny: “No, I never got that letter” “What e-mail?” “No one called to my door with a sledgehammer, what are you talking about?” Remember, they can’t prove you got a letter or an email or a visit from a bloke with a sledge.

To pay what the government owes (because it wasn’t you or I who got us into this mess) would restrict the economy for years to come. I read recently in Newsweek (I get cooler by the second right?) that every Irish man woman and child owes roughly 18,000Euro because of the failure of this Government. Not only is 18,000Euro of debt per person a restriction on Economic growth but it is a severe restriction on “The Buzz”. We need the buzz, this country was built on the buzz. When the lads went out at Easter 1916 did they think they could honestly beat the British? No, but they did it anyway, for “The Buzz”, the freedom Buzz, but the Buzz none the less. If we all owe lots of money than we’ll be in serious negative Buzz, we can live without money but we can’t live without Buzz. Being cheeky and not paying people back epitomises “The Buzz” and THAT is why mums go to Iceland.