A Political Animal Dave February 1, 2010 Blogs The Greek philosopher Aristotle said that man is a political animal. At the risk of sounding arrogant Aristotle was wrong. Animals are simple and easy to understand, people are not. To be fair to Aristotle he probably couldnt foresee how politics would develop over a couple of thousand years to become todays system of just voting for the lesser evil, not even God himself could have imagined that politics would ever come down to a straight choice between Brian Cowen and Enda Kenny, Gordon Brown and David Cameron or Barrack Obama and John McCain. Although we can all agree that Aristotle was unequivocally wrong and I am unequivocally right the idea of a political animal has been a recurring theme in modern politics and political punditry, some of the major recurring animals in the political zoo have been The Red Herring: Iraqs WMD stockpile The Red Herring is a polite term for a lie, a fib. It is a distracting animal, used to distract people from the reality of the situation. The most famous recent example of the Red Herring was the lie that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. The Red Herring is often a fatal animal, once again evident by the Iraq war which has cost thousands of lives and as yet has to turn up 1 weapon of mass destruction. The Elephant in the Room: The Elephant in the room is not a subtle animal; it is however quiet and unpredictable, it is the issue nobody wants to talk about. The Elephant in the Room often feels inadequate and has self esteem issues that stem from being ignored. These self esteem issues are thought to be the root cause of the Elephants weight problem. The Trouser Snake: The Trouser Snake The trouser snake is an elusive animal, it rarely makes public appearances but it has been long rumoured that the trouser snake is a common animal behind the scenes in politics. The trouser snake is a very troublesome animal and public acknowledgment of its appearance is often the signal that someones is losing a job. By contrast, its appearance in private usually means someone is getting a job. The Weasel: The weasel is also very common, the weasel will tell people what they want to hear in order to get elected and then to hold on to power they will forget everything they stand for, however they will still carry on acting as if they still represent the same principles they once did. Emmet Stagg: Emmet Stagg can be found within the confines of Leinster House, He has also been spotted in the wilds of Dublins Phoenix Park, after dark. Although he is a peaceful animal Deputy Stagg has been known to provoke hostile reactions from fellow politicians. Pat Rabitte: Pat Rabbitte has a funny name. The Scapegoat: The Scapegoat is the most despised of all the political animals. The political scapegoat exists today in many forms, the form we are most familiar with currently is the civil servant. Apparently it is their fault that there is a global recession that originated in America and affected Ireland so badly due to a Fianna Fail government policy of promoting an open economy that was and still is heavily susceptible to the ups and downs of the globalised market. Shame on those phone answerers and form stampers for letting that happen. The Snake in The Grass: New Labour Party Member Killian Forde The Snake in The Grass will run for one set of principles then defect to another once they have gained their respective office, the snake in the grass is not dissimilar to the weasel, however, the Snake in the Grass at least has the courtesy to admit they have betrayed the people that elected them. The Fine Lion: We are often told that there is a fine lion between an unpalatable and unpopular decision and a more palatable decision. For example There is a fine lion between making hard decisions and being unpopular. For me there can be no finer Lion than this one, it rides a horse. On reflection maybe that Aristotle lad was on to something. -Dec (Oh! And on a completely different note Funny How? Is now on Facebook AND Twitter) Tweet
