Minister for ruining Tara and building incinerators John Gormley announced this week that Dublin City could have its first Mayoral election as early as June of this year (2010). This is welcome news in a week that saw Dublin as well as the rest of the country suffer water shortages. Mary Joyce, a fruit and veg. trader on Moore Street greeted the news warmly “ah sure it’s lovely isn’t it, who needs running water when you can spend the money on paying a whole bureaucratic staff to establish a new office of Mayor of Dublin. Now love can I give ya some bananas to take with ya, five for a euro.”

Speculation is set to be rife on who will be a candidate for such a high profile position. Here is a list of early runners.


 

Bertie Ahern: While Mr. Ahern is still a paid, sitting T.D for Dublin Central and an artist he has found the time to go on an island wide tour to promote his book. Mr. Ahern could use the tax free earnings from this book coupled with his TD’s salary to fund his campaign for mayor.

 

Mr. Tayto: Mr. Tayto is also a man plugging a book and it is no secret that he has political ambitions. He is a private businessman but unlike Bertie Ahern, Mr Tayto’s book is not entitled to tax relief so he may not have the funding necessary to finance a campaign.


 

Skinny Anto: Dublin born and bred he has support for his pro drugs stance his policies include the pro drugs “gerrin mad ourra it, wha?” and the pro privacy “shurrup you or I’ll bate ya”. Anto is thought to be a strong candidate amongst “scumbags” but historically speaking “scumbags” have had low turnouts in any elections.


 

Jason Sherlock: Competent, reliable and a fan favourite Sherlock is advancing in years and may be looking for a change of career. If Sherlock were to run he would be guaranteed a strong vote by Dublin fans, which are predominantly found in Dublin where he would be aiming to be mayor.


 

Ronnie Drew: Although Ronnie Drew is no longer with us he should be considered as a candidate for Mayor. As Mayor of Dublin is bound to be a largely ceremonial position with limited power there would be no better way to commemorate a man so closely associated with Dublin than to make him ceremonial mayor and save everyone a lot of time and money and effort.

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