No breakthrough in Mid East talks

 

“Good Effort”

There was no shock this week as efforts to resolve the Israeli – Palestinian conflict failed to make progress.  It is another addition to what has been a slow news week where unremarkable and even unchanged things have made the news, below are some of the stories that made up a slow news week.

 

Pope Benedict XVI has confirmed to an anxious audience in the Vatican that he is still a practicing Catholic and intends to be for the “foreseeable future”

 

“Moldova”

This week satellite data confirmed that Moldova still exists and has been going strong recently.

 

Not Friends

The United States and Iran continue to remain passive aggressive and generally catty towards each other. This week American President Barrack Obama called the Iranian President “short sighted” and “stubborn”. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad responded by calling Obama “an insufferable-do goody-jug eared-cunt” who Ahmadinejad says “hasn’t even done anything yet, except wreck my head”.

 

Democracy

Also this week in Afghanistan the march of Democracy continues with Afghanistan set to hold its second round of voting. The first round won by the preferred Western candidate Hamid Karzai was rendered null and void through massive fraud in the original election which was overseen by Hamid Karzais friend and NATO forces.

 

The Hills

The Hills remains unexplainably popular this week, living a life vicariously through grating characters and silent envy has never been so popular.

 

Peter Andre remains dead inside this week.

 

There was considerable anger from government back benchers as plans to lower the legal limit of blood alcohol for diving were introduced.  With the arguments that people need to drive drunk to socialise and drinking makes some people better drivers being offered as actual reasons to keep the legal limit at its current rate.

 

Another western couple were stupid enough to sail close to Somalia this week and as a result have been taken hostage. The rest of the world has started to lose interest in the pirates in Somalia issue so it is not thought that this story will have a dramatic ending.

 

It was Halloween this week and violence against Firemen was on the increase. It is thought the increase in violence towards Firemen is connected to them arriving in areas populated by large groups of Neanderthals who live in hovels, speak in low grunts, have a tribal culture, no stake in society and have a primal urge to protect fire which they believe was created by the gods because they have a considerably smaller brain than normal humans. It is also theorised that they perhaps think the large red fire engine is actually a monster and therefore react with violence as they know no other way.

For the real story click here

Dec.