Two Guantanamo detainees sent to Ireland

A very different kind of bay

 

Two Uzbek detainee’s of Guantanamo Bay have been released to the care of the Irish Government. The two men who’s identity has been concealed for safety reasons are due to arrive in Ireland within 7 days. Upon arriving in Ireland they will have to make some adjustments as they re-adjust to living in a (semi-functional) society. It is not expected to be a culture shock, as the men have spent up to the last 8 years on an island with sub-standard facilities that has been mismanaged by the people trusted to run it.

“But they might be terrorists !”

 

The move has been met with criticism from some sections of the Irish public. It seems some people are unhappy that the men who were kidnapped,illegally transported and imprisoned for up to 8 years may somehow be the bad guys in this situation. A spokesman for the group “Morally Indignant” said “this is typical of the government, to put our safety at risk like this. How dare they gamble with our children by allowing these Uzbek madmen to live here, I am disgusted, so disgusted that I would actually consider not voting for Fianna Fail in the next election. If only the rest of the parties weren’t Godless heathens.”

Uzbek Embassy

 

A spokesperson for the Uzbek embassy said “We are glad to have more of our fellow countrymen here in Ireland, we now  have enough for a 5 a side football team, with a substitute.” When asked about how this will impact on Irish- Uzbek relations the spokesman said “Well Irish-Uzbek relations are quite difficult, Ireland falls out of Uzbekistan’s sphere of influence. To people in Uzbekistan Ireland just sounds like a made up country in the back end of Western Europe. Most Uzbek’s could not point out Ireland on a map.

“Abducting people without consequence went out with the Good Friday agreement.”

 

Minister for Foreign Affairs Micheál Martin has said “This is all part of Irelands role on the world stage. We helped Bush take them to Cuba so now we should help Obama clear America’s concience. If we don’t American Mulitnationals might not want to come here…and if we don’t have them we don’t have anything. We need to accept our responsibility, abducting people without consequence went out with the Good Friday agreement.”

For the real story click here

Dec (dec@comedyireland.ie)